Be jubilant, my feet

You may yet remember, dear reader, my dislike of sock-knitting. I tend to knit them in spurts: best to get them all over with at once. However, for reasons that you can likely imagine — e.g. the state of democracy, weather, and the general crappiness of the latter half of 2016 — the monotony of stockinette socks really suits me now and as luck would have it the sock yarn stash really needs knitting down.

Over the course of the past month (since 2 December, to be precise) I’ve discovered that socks on 2 mm needles are substantially less awful than memory would have me believe, so I’m knitting all these pairs at a gauge of 9 sts per inch. Is it true that each stitch per inch corresponds to a year of hole-free wear? Ha. No. However, in the spirit of fake news, I will choose believe that outrageous claim because I want it to be true.

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Odd-Even said, with utmost diplomatic style, “Maybe you should knit with fewer colours next time.”

I replied, “The yarn is dyed that way and comes off the ball in that order.”

Odd-Even: o.O

Apparently, it might not be such a great idea to trust “the professionals” with colour combinations any more than I trust myself. Speaking of which, here’s a big old fat Lesson Learned when it comes to buying sock yarn without any indication of how it knits up:

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Faced with the usual leftovers, a blanket seemed the likely result although that idea sort of left me with WHY????? ringing in my head whenever I half-heartedly considered it. After all, I did my scrap yarn duty with Knoll and Tott’s granny square afghans, right? Right. So back to the pit of despair, which is where I go when I realize a stash of leftovers has accumulated with no magic wand to Evanesco! (The best I can do is bamboo, 7 inches, with a core of qiviut, but it can only work partial vanishing spells so for each 100 g of sock yarn it will vanish 75 g, thereby leaving 25 g to hang about with no aims or ambitions to become any sort of Work-In-Progress, much less Finished Object.)

Anyway, I managed climb out from the pit of despair and into the Ravelry forums instead, which led me to this thread and these projects. Now I’m already mixing and matching actual remnants with soon-to-be remnants with a view to scrap socks.

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I also calculated that the total sock yarn stash weighs, as of now, about 1325 g. At 75 g a pair, that means 17 (and two-thirds) pairs of socks. Each pair takes about a week to knit. So, broadly speaking, I could knit nothing but socks until the end of April.

First thought: I can totally do that. Second thought: Do I really want to do that? Dear reader, you can surely guess my answer! But after further reflection I’ve concluded that there’s only one thing worse than slogging through seventeen pairs of socks, and it’s DARNING the thirty pairs in my drawer…

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